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And I think that's why I choose to say stupid things, to avoid saying anythin that would hurt you. I know you're going through a lot right now losing your mother, and my condolences go out to you. I'm afraid to talk to you because I'll say something stupid. I miss you incredibly. I'm in town and know you won't come see me, even though I moved 7000 miles away for the long term. I'm hurting inside, sitting here at the Greyhound and wondering what I should do for 4 hours. I'm sorry I'm stupid, and I can't apologize enough. I want to believe I deserve something important but I can't. I'm lost and feel so insecure. I would honestly beg for you to wait for me. I hate this so much...
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